You decide not to have any.
That decision can come with too many advantages to list.
“Wha… that’s easier said than done”!
Please still hear me out. I’ve had all the above, at one point added with years of poverty, water-and-dry-bread-poverty. They were the best eras in my life. I learned:
It are not poverty or problems that make unhappy, inequality does. If everyone around you is in the same boat, there’s no sense of loss of face, nor any other sense. As a matter of fact, you can start feeling “que sera sera” and even a sense of total harmony. And today, half the world is already in the same boat as you.
It never was my diet of water and bread (or a year of rice-with-mayonaise) that made me unhealthy or weak. The opposite is true. I lost weight, and have never felt more energetic than back then. One session of exercise was almost instantly followed by the next one; there was just too much energy. It’s also this that got me out of my problems. Worrying didn’t, stress didn’t, those just led to sleeplessness and giving up. Making the specific decision to be happy in spite of everything, turned everything upside down.
When there were situations that did not or never led to happiness, then they were almost even greater: these days and situations became the lessons of my life. As though I had rented a free sparring partner in boxing, judo and swimming alike, that make me so ready and, yes, happy, at any given moment, especially the difficult ones.
I know it’s very hard to grasp this simple concept, or to instruct yourself not to worry. Don’t take it from me but from the biggest philosophers and the most valuable wisdom that history has provided us with:
“Know your enemy” means: clarity leads to strength, it’s confusion or having no knowledge that makes you lose any battle.
“Know thyself”: simply having clarity about your fears, is enough. Face them. Say “I lay awake here because of the fear of X, Y and Z, and that’s OK“. Then fall asleep.
“Fear not,” is repeated 365 times in the Bible, for a reason. Just as “be joyful”. They do say that both are simple decisions, commands to yourself.
But the list is never ending. Why do we have philosophers? Because they are the real pharmaceutics.
Here’s homework for you:
Until further notice you are still a free, authentic person, with a genuine opinion. Have it, be it, express it. From the moment you feel that you are suppressing that, you have already died a bit. Well, your inner core has. What good is it to “save” the life of this what remains of you? Why should it be saved?
Expressing it, being it, obviously in a very nice way, towards others and towards yourself, is a wonderful step towards liberating yourself from fear, anxiety and a lot of stress. The power of life and death… sits in your words. You are the knight in shiny armour that you are waiting for. You are your saviour.
Pull out your inner CEO who instructs all the managers in you, to stop with the useless stressing.
I’m sorry if I can’t give any other advise. This is what my 50 years on a wobbly planet have taught me. Yes, a whole life can be reduced into one page only. It’s not any different from billions of lives that came before you and me. Things are decisions, you are the captain of your mind, you are your personal trainer and your fitness guru. And you do all that, with just a word.