Improvising: the most popular and attractive skill.
You make mistakes while learning a language, and do not worry?
You don’t really organise your parties?
Congratulations! Then you have a talent unlike any other, forever putting you on the road to – and of – popularity.
The Art of Improvising is sometimes named the strongest pillar of charisma, and definitely of manliness.
It’s rather logic, when you think of it. For what is life, if not a jungle of surprises, unexpected situations, changes, hurdles and bumps? They are but the modern day snakes and predators and poisonous plants and falling rocks.
Showing that you can improvise, is showing a superior talent at survival and thus safety. With a (terrible, I know) hyperbole: “Good genes”.
”I just threw something together”. Such comment of a humble hostess, is not humble at all. It actually says: I am SO good, SO reliable, that I don’t need organisation and thought and planning. With me you are just always in safe hands. I can make something, with nothing.
“With me, life is safe, in richess and poverty, in safety and danger, in calm and storm”.
“I’m that 4-leaf-clover you always looked for, honey!”
It’s a reason why over organised parties can be so dull, and impromptu ones so unforgettable. Not that one was ‘better’ than the other. The people were – or at least perceived as such. More confident, exciting, more creative, more adaptable… a Who’s Who of the talents of Attractiveness.
It’s the person that stutters and stumbles through a new language, who gets the smiles, empathy, helpfulness, hospitality: because of the Likeability Points.
This likeability comes from the display of confidence (“making mistakes does not diminish my self-esteem, I’ve got plenty of that”), resolve (“I want to learn”), wisdom (“this is how one learns”, “learning is important”, “you are important”), cleverness (“I’ll avoid this word but use that one, and revert to hand signs”)… in short, I’m An Improviser!
The opposite? When you are very quick to say “I was taken aback”, “I’m embarrassed to”, “what must they think of my talents as host”, “I don’t want to make mistakes”… etc.
Be insecure now. And make it not matter.