Shrugging Lessons

I kick off my mornings with one minute of delicious shrugging. 

tolox-sky-lineFor Worrying is a condition.
You will always see that the people who worry about A today, will worry about B tomorrow, about C the day afterwards. Once Z is out of the way, they just focus again on Headache A.

They are conditioned to worry. It’s what they trained themselves in, and what has become their comfort zone.

Now obviously everything is a condition. I know people who get a fit, when the colour of the bathmat doesn’t match the curtains. Once they started with some interest in Interior Design, and then it ran away with them, as any other addiction. Being the perfect host, wearing the right brands, getting the right amount of Likes on a social network, … you name it. Previously I talked about “the fetish of punctuality” but literally everything can become that one signal to the brain, that overtakes it as a drug.

That wouldn’t be so bad, if it weren’t so that you always get what you ask for. You worrying that A might go astray, increases the potential that it does, if only for all your signals seem to be begging for it, and you not being satisfied until you’re back in your Comfort Zone.

As all things you trained in, you can un-train them. That is: to start to learn the opposite. “I am going to reserve this day to put a first step towards knowing how to relax”. Or what about: learning to embrace everything that happens. For everything that doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger and wiser. 

The alternative is years or decades or a whole life of forever needing expensive Zen Resorts, mini-breaks, alcohol, pharmaceuticals, psychiatrists, life coaches – or whatever people need to get a little break from themselves. None of which helps, for all these actions still focus on the problem. To throw in another cliché: “What you resist, persists”.

Shrugging is so often seen as indifference. It’s not! It’s the pharmaceutical par excellence. Of course we should not shrug about the existence of slavery or child labour. On the contrary! But shrugging about the problems of self, our little ego in the ocean of 7 billion others, is sheer wisdom. It will right free up energy, space and funds to help with things that matter.

Shrug, when the racists and anti-racists are rolling over the streets. They’re the same, zooming in on skin colour, whereas a stable, healthy person wouldn’t notice a skin colour or would decide to brush it aside as irrelevant or not the thing that will define you. Both groups just harden the other and trigger even more extreme reactions. It’s your shrugging that is actually helping and an actual sign of embracing differences (you feel equally sorry for both of them).

Shrug when all you can offer a guest is a plastic chair in the grass, for this liberates your whole mind to focus on the guest and not your condition.

Shrug when this or that politician is said to have said this or that, for “the show must go on” and you cannot steer the whole country or universe; you should be there for your own little planet that you do have control over. Worrying about politics, means that you are not there where you do make a difference, where you could have been the president.

Give yourself some shrugging lessons. One minute a day.

The positive, happy, worriless, relaxed host, will be the pilot that everyone runs to or wants to be with. It’s worrying, and especially worrying out loud or visibly, that does make your life something to seriously worry about.

Inch’Allah”, “Do not fear”: there are very many and very important reasons why Muhammad and Jesus were the great Life Coaches of human history, and I do not even throw in Buddha. Sure, they seriously stand in the way of more consumption, more pharmaceuticals and more food and gym and tourism, that whole “more” that economy and capitalism are based on. So you won’t see them return soon in school programs or media (if anything, they will be eradicated, for they completely replace half of the products and created needs).

Less is more, gives more, results in more, and that definitely applies to worrying.

Look at all the things that you do NOT need to worry about. When you do that, life is magnificent and you fill up with so much energy, that any worry is but an ant on the back of an elephant.

Look at the birds of the sky” 🙂


This was my village yesterday evening. What on earth have I got to worry about? About that 1 cm crack in the roof that seems to be leaking? There are a 1,300.000 square centimeters that are not. And even if they all did, I would still have this roof:


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