Many men do it instinctively:
keeping a low vestimentary profile.
Old T-shirt, old car, no haircut.
It’s a first wall around the castle, to keep gold diggers away.
Regardless of how much they bring to the table, be it financial security or the security of strength, craftsmanship, confidence – and they are all desirable – they would not market it. To increase the potential to attract reliable company or a soul mate. Or at least not the most consumerist or high-maintenance one, exhausting all resources, that are all finite.
It’s rather popular with MGTOWs, those men that vow to live strong and independently.
But also others find it a great way to weed out the unneeded attention and thus, make room for the more valuable one. You could say that Selfie-ing is the polar opposite, and that the burqa is the extreme version.
The Grey Man or Woman
The Grey Man or Woman takes it a step further: developing the lowest possible profile.
Not just in what they wear, but also act, move and talk.
They’re ghosting in every domain of life: there’s absolutely nothing that makes them stand out, they creates no ripple whatsoever: if you pick up on them, they will still not be memorable. You have to think really hard to remember “yes, wasn’t there someone in a hoodie passing by”?
They do this as protection against, for example, harsh economic crises, when everyone will be gold digger: after the money, house, water, protection, fruit or the fruit of their labour.
“When you can count your true friends on the fingers of one hand, you are a lucky man”.
In previous times people would withdraw to a monastery for a few months, today the word is: “Going Dark”: withdrawing from all social and social network circles. The phone goes off, the TV out.
This is more spiritual training: to be alone, on the world but not of it, to try to hear the still, small voice of the soul. Or to look at the craziness of the world from a distance, trying to discern what one wants of it and what not.
It’s the elderly lady detective Miss Marple of Agatha Christie who said:
“You do not need to leave the village, to know the world”.
Which, when you “go dark”, realize to be absolutely true: when the TV goes out, you don’t miss a thing. If anything, you start to notice more. Your instinct and intuition definitely restore.